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Okie
01-22-2005, 08:26 AM
Hey everyone. I'm sorry if this post is a little too long. I'm 19 years old and I've never talked about stuttering to a single person, so I guess I have a lot to get off my chest.

I remember stuttering back when I was a little kid, but it wasn't the same as it is now. Back then, it was mostly just a case of talking too fast, etc.

As I grew older it faded away, like it does with most kids. When I was about 14, I played QB for my school's football team. For some mysterious reason, I started stuttering while calling the plays in the huddle. I think it started off as a small stammer, and then next time I was afraid of doing it again, and it just snow-balled from there.

5 years later I still have it.

Amazingly, I know a lot of people that don't even know I am a stutterer. There are two reasons for this. One, I am a shy person and so I don't talk a whole lot anyways (The stuttering is part of the cause for the shyness, but maybe I'll get into that later). Two, I'm not one of those stutterers who try to get out words. When I get to a problem-word I just block. After that I usually do one of two things. I either try to substitute for another word or the more common thing I do is insert "uh" right before the problem-word. So it sounds pretty dumb... "I'll take uh...uh...uhburger."

Anyways, I've become a very very shy person. Now I am naturally a shy person, even before I started stuttering. I think that if I wasn't a stutterer, I would still have a pretty bad case of social phobia. Now both things go together and make things pretty bad.

Right now I am just feeling like this is ruining my life. Ever since I started college in August, I've been day-dreaming 24/7 about finding a girl, getting married, etc, and how at this pace, this will never happen.

It seems like to me the whole cause of stuttering is just being afraid of stuttering. I've read so many sites before coming to this one that for the cause of stuttering, offered a theory that talked about neurons and vocal cords and lips, etc. Now I know that things are abnormal biologically when one stutters, but that isn't the cause of stuttering, for me anyways. It's the result of stuttering.

If there really were a biological reason for my stuttering, how would you explain the fact that I don't stutter when talking to certain people I fell comfortable around, talking to animals, talking to small children, talking in unison, etc.?

The answer is, when I do these activities I am not worried about stuttering. Who would I worry about stuttering in front of my dog? The dog won't know if I am stuttering or not!

Stuttering is a fear of itself. I can't really think of anything else like it. What are others thought on this?

I don't have the link right now, but I've seen a website that talks about a certain camp you can go to for stuttering that's like a few weeks long. The site boasts something like a 75% success rate. They use John Stossel as an example, who aparently went to the camp and gives a testimonial on the site about how it cured him.

The thing is, I think if I went to a thing like this, I wouldn't stutter at it. It would be like talking to my dog. I simply would not be afraid of stuttering if I am surrounded by people that know I stutter and people that are stuttering along with me. What do you guys think about this? Does anybody know about this thing?

Does anybody else on here also have a bad social anxiety problem? I think if it wasn't for me being an extremely self-conscious person, I could open up to people about stuttering, and that it would eventually go away. I think that if a person knew that I stuttered and understood it, I would eventually stop stuttering around them because I would have nothing to fear.

The problem is, I absolutely can not open up about it. I can't even talk about it with my mom. I guess it's because I am so self-conscious and I know other people wouldn't understand it. Most people think it is actually a problem with the mouth, tongue, etc, or the person just has a mental problem that keeps them from forming words with their mouth.

Does anyone else have this problem or is everyone pretty open about stuttering?

Oh yeah, is there anyone that happens to be college age, and/or from around Norman, Oklahoma? I know there probably isn't, but it's worth asking.

I guess that's about it for now.

MCB
02-16-2005, 04:44 PM
Hello, I can relate to your situation. I have not told a single soul about my stutter. Lately I've been thinking about telling my best friends, one of whom I've known for nearly my whole life but I still can not bring myself to open up to them. I don't know what it is that holds me back. I don't think it's fear of being embarrased, this guy is one of the most caring people I know. And I don't think it's fear that they might not understand..I just can't put my finger on it, but I simply can not bring myself to talk about it with him even though I really want to. I think eventaully I will spill it to him, because for many years I have kept every painful moment I've ever had bottled up, and I really want to get it all out.

Professor
02-18-2005, 02:15 AM
yeah i feel ya man im a little shy to certian people and people i dont know because of stuttering and if i didnt stutter i would definantly not be shy around any people. And the camp thing sounds cool id go to it if i knew where it was and id certainly would feel comfortable and not shy at all.

wenchnwitches
03-04-2005, 10:23 AM
The only person I have talked about my stutter too is my older sister; we have had conversations because she has confided in me that she stutters sometimes when talking to people. But even if she hadn't confided in me, I would still talk to her because she thinks the world of me and loves me unconditionally. She is the only person I have spoken to though.

I believe the reason why we don't confide is fear of pity; I can't stand people feeling sorry for me. And also, even talking about my stutter is painful for me and makes me feel inadequate. I don't stutter very much anymore, only a few words. I have asked myself the same questions as you have: Is my stutter due to nervousness and apprehension on my part, or is it some physiological malfunction? Well, it can't be the latter because the language part of the brain does not rationalize "Oh, here comes this situation/environment, I am going to make you stutter......this situation is fine...I wont make you stutter..........." If it was a physiological problem, then you would stutter ALL the time, no matter what environment.....I led a very sheltered life in my early years, but now I am more outgoing because I have reduced my stutter to occasional relapses....but please, please, dont let it keep you shut away....I think the key is learning how to breathe and relax and reducing that anxiety. I have tried meditation which is just simply finding a quiet spot, sitting in a comfortable position and breathing deeply as I count down from TEN...and then I VISUALIZE a situation in which I am speaking properly - believe me it works,,,but you have to schedule a time when you will spend 10 minutes meditating....I find that we are so self-conscious that we tell ourselves we are going to stutter..and guess what? We do..and when I focus so intently on how the sounds come out...I can't get my vocal chords to function properly..it is just like walking...we don't THINK about how our legs work, it is just instinct, but if we were to think about the process, walking isn't as reflexive....

So Okie, I hope you find support for your anxieties and you should tell your mum. I am sure she will love you all the more....