Talking vs Stuttering

[happy7117]

Talking is being able to say stuff without trouble easily and fluently.

So what is stuttering??

I know what stuttering is because I am one as we all are!

What I mean is, is stuttering the same as talking??

Is stuttering like some kind of language for us that only we know how to speak???

And would it be like a foreign language for people to learn how to stutter like we do??

Shouldn't learning tp speak fluently be like learning Spanish??

Perhaps learning to speak fluently is like learning to Speak a foreign language.

Fluent Speech could be like a foreign language to us.

To bad there was never a Foreign Language class in school to take called Fluency. For stutterers only.

Or a foreign language class called Stuttering where it's only opened to Fluent People!

[lglovesjp]

I understand what you mean but people learn to speak Spanish all the time as well as other languages where as stutterers try in vain to become fluent in their own language and it mainly isn't possible.
If only it could be like learning another language though

[J1S]

I don't think stuttering is anything at all like its own language.

Although, I do wonder what the point would be in me even trying to learn a new language. It would be hell since it would be even harder to avoid stuttering while learning a new language then it is now.

[happy7117]

I don't think stuttering is anything at all like its own language.

Although, I do wonder what the point would be in me even trying to learn a new language. It would be hell since it would be even harder to avoid stuttering while learning a new language then it is now.

Stuttering may not be a different language, but it certainly is hard for people to understand it.

[JDRow]

Stuttering may not be a different language, but it certainly is hard for people to understand it.

I think it tends to be less difficult for people to understand than frustrating, if that makes sense.

I find that, even when I'm stuttering extremely badly, people don't really have trouble understanding what I'm saying. They just might get frustrated with waiting for me to say it and stop listening or cut me off. But they can understand what I'm saying. Usually if somebody doesn't understand me it's because I'm not talking loudly enough and not because I'm stuttering too much. Even when my stuttering is very bad it seems like people can still understand.

[lglovesjp]

I don't think stuttering is anything at all like its own language.

Although, I do wonder what the point would be in me even trying to learn a new language. It would be hell since it would be even harder to avoid stuttering while learning a new language then it is now.

I've heard that when you use a different accent in your voice it can stop you stuttering like if you are copying someone from a movie and they have a different accent so if you spoke spanish or french there would be a different accent so it could be possible not to stutter with it.

[happy7117]

I think it tends to be less difficult for people to understand than frustrating, if that makes sense..

Sorry, but I am not sure what you mean by that!

I find that, even when I'm stuttering extremely badly, people don't really have trouble understanding what I'm saying..

Unfortenately, that is not the case with me! I don't understand how people or a person are able to understand you or someone when they or you are stuttering very, very badly.

When I stutter very nastily, people or someone usualy cannot understand me and say "what", or "I can't understand you"

If people can understand you even if you do stutter, it must not be that bad.


Usually if somebody doesn't understand me it's because I'm not talking loudly enough and not because I'm stuttering too much. Even when my stuttering is very bad it seems like people can still understand.

I would think they would not be able to understand you because of the nasty stuttering. When I cannot be understood, it is usualy do to my stinkin' stutter crap!

I still am unsure how people can understand you if your stuttering is bad..

When I stutter very bad, people CANNOT understand me!

Ugh!

[happy7117]

I've heard that when you use a different accent in your voice it can stop you stuttering like if you are copying someone from a movie and they have a different accent so if you spoke spanish or french there would be a different accent so it could be possible not to stutter with it.

I think I have also heard that speaking with an accent or a different sort of voice other than one's one can reduce or stop stuttering.

But it would sound weird to speak with an weird accent every time you wished to say something.

But then again, it's weird to stutter too.

Althought speaking with an accent or a different voice might reduce stuttering, it might not sound natural to us.

Something to think about!

[JDRow]

When I stutter very nastily, people or someone usualy cannot understand me and say "what", or "I can't understand you"

If people can understand you even if you do stutter, it must not be that bad.

Now I'm wondering if people are just pretending to understand me.

It does seem like people can usually understand me, even when I'm stuttering a lot, as long as they are paying attention. Even when I'm having a lot of really long blocks (like 20-30 seconds), the person I'm talking to understands what I'm saying. But, it might just be that most people I talk to a lot are people I know well and so who are used to listening to me. I don't know.

I never thought stuttering was difficult to understand, though, unless the other person stops paying attention.

[happy7117]

Now I'm wondering if people are just pretending to understand me..

That is a great point you have about people pretending to understand a stutterer.

One thing I do hate is when I know I am stuttering bad, and people that I am talking nod their head or say mm-hhm like as if they understand me. But I know deep down they DID NOT understand me, and they probably are just nodding their head to be nice to me.


In other words, when people don't understand me, they will sort of nod their head in agreement, when in actuality they have no idea what I just said.

In other words, as you said, I often get the feeling that when I am stuttering badly, the listener is pretending to listen to us when they are not. That is terribly mean.

They should say something like, "I'm sorry, I did not understand you" instead of pretending to listen and not understand us. And listeners should not nod their head when they realy don't understand us.

It's like they are fake answering or fake nodding to agree with what we are saying to make us feel like they understood us when in fact they don't understand us.

Listeners probably think they are being nice to us by pretending to listen and responding to us when we cannot be understood, but pretending to listen while not understand us is awful.

I think it is also cruel for a listener to respond as though they understood us.

They should ask us for clarification, instead of pretending to listen.

If a listener truly does not try to listen truthfully even when we are having trouble and does not say they could not understand me, then they are not worth my time.

Those people should not bother talking to me, because how would they like it if I completely ignored them or completely tuned them out?!



It does seem like people can usually understand me, even when I'm stuttering a lot, as long as they are paying attention. Even when I'm having a lot of really long blocks (like 20-30 seconds), the person I'm talking to understands what I'm saying

This might sound nasty, but if a person stutters badly like me, and the listener says they understand you, when the stutter knows he did not get his message across, they are probably are lying.

In other words they are probably saying they understand you just to be nice, when in fact they have no idea what you or I just said.

Perhaps a listener thinks as they are listening to a stutterer "if I make him say that whole thing again because I had no idea what he just said , it will make him feel like crap. So, I'll just agree with whatever he was trying to say".


But, it might just be that most people I talk to a lot are people I know well and so who are used to listening to me.


Perhaps the people that know us well like family are able to understand us because they are so used to our stuttering as you said. It's like they are able to hear more clearly what we are trying to say, because they are so used to hearing us for so long.

[Hans]

Fellows, concentrating so much attention on what you don't do well is not good for your self image; it's soul destroying. Give yourself a break and count your blessings.

[nik037]

I def know what all you guys are saying about how hard it is. I have often SERIOUSLY considered just not talking anymore. I have thought about learning sign language as well, although not many people know it, so it wouldn't help in many situations. I want to pass a law that makes people learn sign language in grade school. I think it is important to be able to communicate with people with disabilities. Also, to have a universal sign language. So even people that have no disability could ask simple questions while in different countries. Just a wish...

[happy7117]

. Give yourself a break and count your blessings.

Stuttering is not one of those blessings I count!

[Jim22]

Fellows, concentrating so much attention on what you don't do well is not good for your self image; it's soul destroying. Give yourself a break and count your blessings.

I agree with Hans. Although the predisposition to stuttering is often genetic, evidence is fast accumulating that stuttering is no physical impairment but rather the result of using a wrong pathway in our brains. As explained in Sharon Begley's 'Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain,' the brain is not hard-wired. It possesses a plasticity so that, by training the mind, neural pathways can be changed.

I stuttered for 65 years, but I'm fluent now. Believe me, I am not the only adult stutterer who has gained fluency.

It is not easy to become fluent, but it can be done, all while holding a job and living a normal life. I will tell you that it is very pleasant to be fluent and no longer have to be afraid of talking on the telephone or in difficult situations.

One thing I will guarantee you (and I think Hans would agree) is that if you continue to believe you can't speak fluently, you will never be able to.

Why not take a chance and bet on your own ability to control your stuttering ... and your life?

If I sound overly harsh, believe me, it's not intended. I've walked in your shoes most of my life and know what a hell of a drag it is.

Best wishes,
Jim

[Standingtall]

Hey Jim and Hans, those are good advice. I personally don't want to wait until i am 65 years to gain fluency, but in fact enjoy the fluency i have now. It has changed big time from my teenage years. Talk later and next time, i will stay for a cup of coffee.

[happy7117]

is that if you continue to believe you can't speak fluently, you will never be able to

The stuttering makes us dysfluent anyway, so how can believeing that we will not get better make us stay stutterers??

I think what I'm trying to say is, If you think you CAN do it, you're right. If you think you CAN"T do it, you're still right!

[Jim22]

The stuttering makes us dysfluent anyway, so how can believeing that we will not get better make us stay stutterers??

I think what I'm trying to say is, If you think you CAN do it, you're right. If you think you CAN"T do it, you're still right!

Hi Happy7117 -

Wow, what logic! I'll bet you're a great debater.

But thinking doesn't always make it so.

I wish it did.

When I was trying to rid myself of stuttering, one of the biggest problems I had was trying to make sense of what was happening to me. I'd find a new technique I thought worked. It often did and I would think myself stutter-free. But only for a month or so, until the stuttering returned.

Then it was time to try again.

However, thinking you can't is something else because then you won't even try.

Jim

[happy7117]

Wow, what logic! I'll bet you're a great debater.

I'm not sure if that's sarcasm! Sometimes my parents say stuff like that like "You'r doing a great job, Adam". And by the tome of their voice, I often can't tell if they mean it, or are being sarcastic!

So I often ask when people give me a compliment like that if they are meaning that, or are pulling my leg!

Sorry, I have never joined debate, and never debated in my life. I would not know what debating is like, because I never have debated before.

Debating is fast, high pressured heated arguments supporting or go against an issue which I have never experienced before.

A stutterer would find it extremely hard or impossible I think to engage in a debate because of wanting to get their point across, heated interuptions, and debates are usualy fast paced!

That "If you think you can't" quote is not from me. I wish it was. But I got it from a seminar I watched on video back when I was in 6th grade.

The seminar was called "Where There's A Will, There's A Way". The seminar taught kids/ students how to get better grades in High School and Middle School.

I was lacking in grades in Middle School, and this tape helped. Anyway, that's one of the quotes the seminar leader used that he found in a book by an author who's name escapes me.


When I was trying to rid myself of stuttering, one of the biggest problems I had was trying to make sense of what was happening to me. I'd find a new technique I thought worked. It often did and I would think myself stutter-free. But only for a month or so, until the stuttering returned..

I think something that is not natural to us tends to escape us because it is unusual. If we try something that may feel or sound strange, it will often not stick with us because it is not natural.

[Jim22]

Hi again, Happy7117 -

My post was meant as a compliment and not as saracasm. I apologize if it sounded that way. Please forgive.

Best wishes,
Jim

[happy7117]

Hi again, Happy7117 -

My post was meant as a compliment and not as saracasm. I apologize if it sounded that way. Please forgive.

Best wishes,
Jim

Thank you very much for the compliment. I don't need to forgive you, because you did nothing wrong! I just wanted a little clarification for your post, and there is nothing wrong about that! If we don't ask, we don't know.

I made a spelling error by the way. It is not "Where there's a will, There's a way". It's "Where There's A Will, There's An A". No big thing though.

Would have been better if the seminar was on stuttering techniques, and not better grades!