People with children who stammer

[nate]

For those of you who have children (or want children). How do u feel about having children that might have severe speech problems. I just had a set of twins boys and I am so scared that they will suffer with their speech the way I have. Even if its only half as bad it will still cause them great pain and humiliation.

I am frightened to speak to them (even though they are less than 2 weeks old) because I read somewhere that alot of people who stammer picked it up by mimicking. And because they are a little premature, and twins, and boys, and low birth weight, and have a father with fucked up speech i'm so worried that its a foregone conclusion that they will stammer. And if they do stammer how the F*^K am I going to explain to them that its OK to stammer. Especially since I know its not.

I have nightmares of them grown and struggling to speak to speak to me and i can feel all their fear and anxiety...

Please reassure me someone
Nate

[emily445455]

Hi Nate, My sister and I are the daughters of a stutterer, we also stutter. Believe me...we do not hate our mother in any way, shape, or form for passing on the stuttering gene to us. If anything, we love it that we have a parent who understands what we're going through and have someone we can talk to about it.

Your children will love you no matter what, talk to your children, please!! This is very important, even for parents who stutter. They will learn and fall in love with your voice, if you don't talk to them now you will regret it :(

I am a little worried about having a child that stutters...but I know that I will be there for him/her along with any of my children who don't stutter. I know they will get frustrated that they stutter...but ultimatly will be happy they have a loving mother (father in your case) that understands and will be there to listen, support, offer advice, etc. :)

Congrats on your twin boys!!!! I bet they are beautiful!

[Adrian]

Nate, check the archives of the group. There was a discussion on this very issue in the last month or two that you may find interesting.

[Chad]

Hi Nate,

I'm afraid I don't have anything I can say to reassure you. But I can relate. I was scared to death of having kids for the simple fear that they would stutter. I would (and will) do anything to spare my children from this twisted impediment.

It was a difficult decision, but eventually my wife and I decided to have kids. Although I never shared my fears with her.

My daughter was born two months premature, at just 2lbs 14oz. She was the smallest thing I'd ever seen. That was a while ago and she is talking non-stop now at 2 years old. I know it's too early to tell if she will stutter or not, but so far there is absolutely zero sign of any fluency problems.

And, in December we had our second daughter - also a preemie who arrived 1 month early.

Sometimes I do stutter when talking to my my girls. And it still scares the hell out of me to think they might stutter as well. But I can't imagine life without them, and know I made the right decision.

Chad

[bignick]

Nate,

I can also relate but I still love telling stories to my five year old, going through car magazines and playing with him talking all the time.
Please dont not talk to your children, they will miss out on so much interaction with you if you dont talk. I stutter in front of my five year old and also my 4 month old baby but seeing the baby smile when I talk to him is worth it.

Like Chad, I can not ever think about life without them.

Nick.

[Adrian]

Nate,

I can also relate but I still love telling stories to my five year old, going through car magazines and playing with him talking all the time.
Please dont not talk to your children, they will miss out on so much interaction with you if you dont talk. I stutter in front of my five year old and also my 4 month old baby but seeing the baby smile when I talk to him is worth it.

Like Chad, I can not ever think about life without them.

Nick.

Good advice. Ask any stuttering specialist SLP or researcher and they will tell you stuttering cannot be "learned" from listening to stutterer. Stuttering is not a speech pattern, it is a breakdown of the speaking process and that breakdown cannot be copied. I have heard about stutterers not talking around thier young children out of fear it will be caught. I find that very unfortunate.

[Standingtall]

But I can't imagine life without them, and know I made the right decision.

Chad


Like Chad, I can not ever think about life without them.

Nick.
Amen, to those true words from Chad and my friend Nick. We weren't supposed to have kids, but we were blessed with twin girls. They were born with a cleft lip and palate and the hardshipes we had to deal with. They were born premature, 4lb and 5oz and 4lb and 10oz.

I did not share the same fears until when they started to speak and i began to look for signs. I was more scared being a father, and fears of SIDS, following down, or the stuff they put in their mouths, etc.. They are now 6 and they are very happy girls. They stutter, but they have lots of friends, they are greeted at the door when they get to school by their friends.

My advice is don't be scared of them. Talk to them, and encourage them and don't let up on your love for them. I have a plan and that is to build up their foundation and they can withstand any trouble weather that will come their way. That is just the way life is. Teacher today are better prepared now, my wife is studying to be a teacher's aide and the learning disorders she has to know and how to work with them. She has a child in her class, with HADD and he is a handfull.

If i would have more kids, yes within the same breath. i would even try and repopulate the earth and if they all stutter, then the fluent speaking people can start their own forum. :D

Seriously, i do not regret having my girls and I would have more if i could. Enjoy your boys, they will warm and make your heart grow bigger. I can't not imagine any life without them.

[nate]

so i've been taking ya'll advice ant talking to them. I dont really stutter when I talk which is abit funny. Niki says its a miracle. they like me. they dont see yet I dont think but when they are crying and I walk in and sing they sort of tone it down. I dont pick them up though. They seem so small and droppable. And theyre changing like everyday, I blink and they change. I have to leave in a bit and it will break my heart.
Nate