ysy
08-15-2005, 10:36 AM
Greetings from China. I’m 23, having stuttered since around 10. It's a complete pain. I’m a covert stutterer. Other people often do not notice my stutter. They will only find my speech interrupted by a lot of long pauses and that I only speak short sentences. They will find me having to think for a long time even when I’m only asked some really simple questions such as what’s my name and what subjects I do at school etc. When I first began to stutter, there were only some words which I couldn’t say, such as words that begin with w, l, and r in English spelling. But recently this list has got longer and longer. I might as well only make a list of words which I can actually say. But in despair, I bumped into this site. Well, if God didn’t give us fluent speech, He at least gave us each other.
I hope you guys are not as unfortunate as me. There are several things which make my stuttering life even more unbearable than expected. First, here in Hong Kong, everybody (unless you don’t want a job) must sit through a series of exams which is similar to GCSE in UK at age 16 or 17. One core subject is English. One core element in English is an oral (I repeat, ORAL!) exam. You have to prepare an interview as well as a group discussion (in short you have to fight for several chances to speak within a short time) Yes jumping from the top of a building seems more preferable. What’s worse, your future WILL depend on this exam. Employers WILL look at this result. It IS in your CV. Needless to say I screwed it up. But thank God that examiner didn’t fail me, I got an E. Despite the good grades I got for listening, comprehensive reading and creative writing, still everything was average to just a C. I hope you guys don’t live in a place where your future very much depends on one oral exam.
Second, I just think the speech therapists where I live are not so professional (no offense). As I surf their websites, I see very few of them (<1/10) actually mention that they have adult clients like me (they only say little children and old people who has suffered a stroke etc stutter). They also list some causes to stuttering as if they actually know them to be true, but I know for sure there is no such consensus.
Third, I feel a lot of pressure speaking to people because they expect me to be very smart. I’ve studied abroad for 6 years and I actually did a high-flying degree in a high-flying university in UK (I don’t know how I got in). Sometimes I wish I never went to this university. People just expect me to be more fluent than anybody else, in both Chinese and English, but obviously I don’t.
Anyway, some feedback will be appreciated.
I hope you guys are not as unfortunate as me. There are several things which make my stuttering life even more unbearable than expected. First, here in Hong Kong, everybody (unless you don’t want a job) must sit through a series of exams which is similar to GCSE in UK at age 16 or 17. One core subject is English. One core element in English is an oral (I repeat, ORAL!) exam. You have to prepare an interview as well as a group discussion (in short you have to fight for several chances to speak within a short time) Yes jumping from the top of a building seems more preferable. What’s worse, your future WILL depend on this exam. Employers WILL look at this result. It IS in your CV. Needless to say I screwed it up. But thank God that examiner didn’t fail me, I got an E. Despite the good grades I got for listening, comprehensive reading and creative writing, still everything was average to just a C. I hope you guys don’t live in a place where your future very much depends on one oral exam.
Second, I just think the speech therapists where I live are not so professional (no offense). As I surf their websites, I see very few of them (<1/10) actually mention that they have adult clients like me (they only say little children and old people who has suffered a stroke etc stutter). They also list some causes to stuttering as if they actually know them to be true, but I know for sure there is no such consensus.
Third, I feel a lot of pressure speaking to people because they expect me to be very smart. I’ve studied abroad for 6 years and I actually did a high-flying degree in a high-flying university in UK (I don’t know how I got in). Sometimes I wish I never went to this university. People just expect me to be more fluent than anybody else, in both Chinese and English, but obviously I don’t.
Anyway, some feedback will be appreciated.