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View Full Version : Hello from Port Elizabeth, South Africa


Blueboy
06-09-2004, 08:32 AM
Hi!
I'm a 30-year old stutterer and has been stuttering ever since I was 8. As to the cause and what exactly set it in motion, I suppose I'll never know for sure. I was in pre-primary school where we had a speech therapist who told my parents I was pronouncing my "r" the wrong way, and she convinced them to let me have therapy to end the problem. The only problem was that I was a nervous wreck with her, and that every time I said a word the wrong way during therapy she used to get angry and slam her hand down on the desk, which scared me to death! I continued to experience the feeling of insecurity and being frightened more and more in the presence of, especially people in authority like teachers, etc. and started to stutter real bad. They even let my mom sit in the one time to see how bad I was and wanted to know whether everything was ok at home, that maybe something was wrong at home to cause me to stutter so much. Anyway... it was the beginning of a very long and frustrating school career with lots of ups and downs. After school I went to the army and then decided to try my hand at Public Relations, which I now know was a mistake (I wanna move into web design) but I did prove everyone wrong in the end and completed the course... no matter how tough it was at times... having to talk in front of a whole class audience, etc.! I'm now working as a translator at a newspaper and still stutters, but know that I can do anything I put my heart to! For years I've been searching for answers to the questions of why it should happen to me, but I know now it's God way of making sure that I keep close to Him, cause He picks me up everytime I think I can't do this or that... giving me the strength for each day. Even though I might never be able to speak fluently on earth, I just wanna inspire each and everyone on this site and say that God's plan for our lives is always perfect. God bless you all! :)

gemm
09-03-2004, 07:29 PM
How do you get to the point where you dont care what people think of you, I mean I couldnt even imagine myself stuttering infront of a class of people, makes me feel sick thinking of myself in that situation, I really admire you for doing it. Has all your strength come from your belief in god? I know my attitude is wrong to be ashamed but I just fear my stutter soo much, I want the strength to not 'fear' if you get me.
gemma

Blueboy
09-22-2004, 09:38 AM
Hi Gemm!
I'm sorry I'm only replying now... it's been on my list of priorities for a long time, but it's been a bit hectic at work and I haven't got internet at home.
It's taking me a good 20 years to really get to the point where I don't care about what people think of me... a road with lots of up and downs I can tell you! All the years through school my one fear that's held me back was the fear of making a fool of myself when speaking in front of a class, so I used to try using words in oral and talking in class that I knew I wouldn't stutter with... the so-called replacing method. Reading was a different story though cause one can't really read what's not written in the book!
I had opposite extremes... one day in English I couldn't even get one word out for the oral I so nicely prepared... and then one day again I had an absolutely fluent day when doing oral in Afrikaans class (my mother tongue). It's these fluent days that makes one believe your stuttering has been cured. I came to a point where I just gave it all over to God cause He understands me and created me this way for a reason... a reason I discovered to be that I will always live close to Him. My confidence in myself and my talking has improved a lot since then, and even though I still get my bad days, it's not nearly as bad as in school. I now do things that I never thought I would... even stood up at my wedding last year to give a speech in front of a 100 people or so... even though it were just about two or so sentences, but I didn't stutter and it felt soooo good!
You are more than welcome to drop me a line whenever cause I believe that God also wants me to share what I have discovered.
Keep well!
Andries ;)