""As if" you were who you wished you were...

[Asif]

My name is Asif. It's not my real name. It means: "as-if". As if I can speak as others do. As if I know what I'm talking about. As if I am anything I want to be...
It also means a river, in Arabic. And a musical instrument. And it's much easier to say than my real name :)
I am English. I have adventured far and wide. I am now 51 and much of my hair has vanished.
I had the worst speech impediment I've ever heard.
Now it barely bothers me. The change took place across a period of only a month or two, and was the result of emptying myself of who and what I thought I was. I think probably anyone can do this.
If you can take the time to learn to feel your breathing, and take the time to flush your mind of its incessant babbling and fear, you can - in all probability - come to speak as you would like to speak.
Take the time. It's important isn't it?
asif@tao2000.net

[Vermillion]

How did you do this?

[Asif]

Vermillion...
Do you want the long version, or the short one?
I say the change itself took place within a very short time, but it took far longer to get TO that point: the point where it all came together.
In short, I became a Taoist: meaning - really - I became the true me, and not who I thought I was. This is not a religion: simply a way of living your life.
It entails total honesty. If you think you can be completely honest, then you can do what you'd like to do.
I still stutter, but generally people I meet don't realise I do until I mention it myself. It's still a biggish thing for me, but apparently, not for others.
How would you like that?
I await your response :)
Asif.

[Vermillion]

I would like to hear more about Taoism..

Why do you still stutter?

[Asif]

I still stutter because I am presently living in London, UK, which - if you know it - is a madhouse.
Living in a place I am not designed to live in, surrounded by people who have little or no awareness is very stressful and depressing.
So I forget all the things I've learned, and lapse into a defensive state. Very sad.
Where you are and what you surround yourself with has a big influence upon your psychological state.
Why do I live in London then?
The woman I love lives in London: there you have it :)
As it is, I can almost always speak fluently if I calm myself first, focus in and start breathing. My voice deepens and slows. People listen.
As for taoism: go to http://212.159.60.189/tao/
and take the tour.
Breathing is EVERYTHING, and very few of us have ever learned to do it.
Good luck! Email me if you have questions...
Asif.