Unrelated question

[xinhai]

I felt like asking this question since there are a variety of age groups in this forum, and everyone seems friendly and mature (though this question has nothing to do with stuttering). I myself is a 19 year old guy, going on to college. There is this girl that I began to like about 10 months ago, she mainly captured my attention because of the way she acts and talks (she kinda acts crazy and weird, constantly talking about random cute stuff), she never wears make up, dresses almost boyish, no tight-fitting-sexy clothing at all. Most, or should I say almost all the guys, think shes not pretty at all, mediocore at best. But I find her extremely attractive, one of the most beautiful girls I've seen. I just like her so much, NOT sexually, as I have no urges at ALL towards her, I just like her person + her beauty. I've asked her out quite a few times, but she simply wasn't interested in a relationship with me (but she was very nice and sincere about it) What do you guys think? I know some of you are married and have been through this. If this feeling is only temporary, I will try to move on, as she is one year younger than me and will be a senior in highschool; however, if this truly is it, then I will not give up. Looking forward to hearing from you guys.

[Power of three]

xinhai, I, and I daresay almost everyone who reads this will have been through similar experiences.

There are some women I meet who at first glance do not seem to be that attractive; yet, they have an allure about them that makes them very attractive, and, as you say, not just in a sexual way. There is an air around them, an aura that makes you want to be around them, and not just sleep with them.

As regards the feeling being temporary, this is something that nobody knows.
I know people who met when they were 16, and they are still married well into their 40's. I know of other people who met after 30 years, and got married. Sadly, these are all examples where the feelings run both ways.

As tough as it is to accept, you'll just have to settle for being friends with this girl. I was crazy about a girl for years in my mid-teens; she would never go out with me, but really enjoyed being in my company. Her boyfriends came and went (*cough* excuse the phrase!) but I was always there for her.
Did she use me? Perhaps.
Did I let her use me? Because I wanted to be around her all the time, yes.
Would I change that if I could live my life again? NO WAY!

Standingtall has been through a similar time, so he will be able to give you excellent advice - whenever he returns to us!

Follow your heart, because nobody knows what goes on in there but you.

[AGOFCR]

xinhai,

This happens more often than you'll imagine. It's one of those mysteries of life. It happened to me in high school and again during my undergrad. The worse situation was during my undergrad, but it kinda was a bit different. This girl was hot, hot, hot . . . too hot for her own damn good. She had fifty million guys after her, but we (her and I) hung out quite often. I would go to her house (her parents were awesome - at least with me), we would go to the watch a movie, to the clubs, to concerts, or once in a while we would rent a movie and watch it either in my house or in hers.

Our friendship lasted for ever (we still keep in touch every so often). I was very attracted to her (both physically and intellectually) but I was just "like a brother to her". The guys at the university would always tell me how lucky I was to have her trust and deep friendship . . . Yet, I was after much more than that.

We only kissed ONCE . . . It never happened again.

Sometimes things are the way they are because they were meant to be that way. She is still drop dead gorgeous with two kids, a husband, and a career. Me, well . . . Ugly as always, with two kids, a wife, and a career myself. I look back and I don’t regret the fun we had together . . . Even if it was just “brother/sister” fun. After all, that’s what friends are for and she accepted me (out of everyone at the university) to be her best friend regardless of my stutter----Just had to throw that in there!!!

Peace,

Elliott

[xinhai]

In fact, I feel no sexual attraction at all towards this girl, I actually don't want to sleep with her. Kinda weird eh.

[Power of three]

You've asked her out on a date several times, but you don't want to do the dirty deed with her?
Ok, fair enough, but what do you want to do with her then?

[xinhai]

You've asked her out on a date several times, but you don't want to do the dirty deed with her?
Ok, fair enough, but what do you want to do with her then?


I just wanna be with her, you know? I feel like I just wanna love her and marry her, I'll do the dirty deed when it comes to it, but I don't care about doing that at all. I don't know but, this feels like a fatherly type of love towards her.

[Power of three]

I know exactly what you mean.

I used to feel that way when I was younger too. I just wanted to be with this girl, to look after her and I suppose just to be there for her. I didn't even think of doing "the dirty deed" with her.

We kissed a times and it didn't even cross my mind to have "accidently wandering hands". I was happy and contented simply to "be".

I have yet to meet another girl/woman for whom I have those sort of feelings. I have had girlfriends with whom we have had a sharing of minds, and physical attraction came second.
And I have had other girlfriends where all we had was physical attraction.
I am searching for a woman with both......

I believe that at any given point in time, we receive what is meant for us, for better or for worse. It makes us into the people we are.

Enjoy your time with this girl. And enjoy your time at college. You'll never have another time like it in your life!

[AGOFCR]

I just wanna be with her, you know? I feel like I just wanna love her and marry her, I'll do the dirty deed when it comes to it, but I don't care about doing that at all. I don't know but, this feels like a fatherly type of love towards her.

Yeah I know. I just want to be with Adriana Lima!!! And tear off her clothing . . . Bathe her . . . Give her a massage . . . And . . . Wait, let me stop before Standingtallwithadrianalimainmybedroom gets any kinly ideas for his next movie!!!

[xinhai]

Yeah I know. I just want to be with Adriana Lima!!! And tear off her clothing . . . Bathe her . . . Give her a massage . . . And . . . Wait, let me stop before Standingtallwithadrianalimainmybedroom gets any kinly ideas for his next movie!!!


Now...I dont know who Adriana Lima is...and I dont know if you are seroius or joking...but im SERIOUS...i like her ALOT, almost love, but not that way at ALL.......

[AGOFCR]

Now...I dont know who Adriana Lima is...and I dont know if you are seroius or joking...but im SERIOUS...i like her ALOT, almost love, but not that way at ALL.......

It's called "sense of humor" . . . The majority of us on the forum have it and enjoy sharing it with others . . . It makes life so much easier to live :D

BTW . . . Google Adriana Lima, you'll not regret it!!! :cool:

[happy7117]

I never thought I would be reading
posts about finding love on this forum..
I say if you love the girl for who she is,
and you feel strongly about her, stick with
what you believe in..other guys may say
she is mediocre--but beauty is in the eye of
the beholder...!!

As for high school-I spotted lot's of girls
who I wanted to be around because I was
drawn to their kindness as much as their
beauty-one girl who was exceptionaly nice
who was on the tennis team and a cheerleader
also was so special..I never told her I stuttered,
but she seemed to look beyond it--she was
so beautiful and genuinyl kind and respectfull..I
got her phone number- and her family and
I and her became best of friends--never dated-
but I was glad the way it was!!

And she had a gorgeous house!!

As for the word aura::::

Couldnt that be the same
as chemistry- where a person cannot resist
being around you or are drawn toward you
because of a vibe a person has--

Actualy I have been told I have an aura
where one can sense from far away if I
would want to be approached or not..it's
like a physical feeling of magnetism that
surronds my body-that others can detect
from far away--and it makes them want to
approach me--or be near me...

I think another word for aura could be::
vibe, oasis, or as I said above chemistry!!

[Standingtall]

You can have love and friendship all the same time. I also had a friend that I wanted more out of our relationship, but she was content on friendship. Sure, I behaved, no wandering hands, just the odd oops. She liked going to nude beachs and going topless and then the reflective sunglasses come on and cold showers later.

Don't underestimate friendships, true friends are hard to come by. Tell youself, what kind of friend I want to be with her. The one that bails her out from jail, or the one sitting in there with her and saying, 'That was fun'! Friends can lend you a shoulder to cry on and they can also blackmail you. Some guys here will gladly sit in jail with me and say, 'boy the cops sure can run'. hey Nick, Steve, Elliot and cherokeeprinces and a few more as they come along. Take that risk and be her friend and see what happens. You may gain a friend for life and if not, then you grew inside of you.

Hope that helps.

[AGOFCR]

Friends can lend you a shoulder to cry on and they can also blackmail you. Some guys here will gladly sit in jail with me and say, 'boy the cops sure can run'. hey Nick, Steve, Elliot and cherokeeprinces and a few more as they come along.
Hope that helps.

The feeling is mutual brother!!! :D

[bignick]

You can have love and friendship all the same time. I also had a friend that I wanted more out of our relationship, but she was content on friendship. Sure, I behaved, no wandering hands, just the odd oops. She liked going to nude beachs and going topless and then the reflective sunglasses come on and cold showers later.

Don't underestimate friendships, true friends are hard to come by. Tell youself, what kind of friend I want to be with her. The one that bails her out from jail, or the one sitting in there with her and saying, 'That was fun'! Friends can lend you a shoulder to cry on and they can also blackmail you. Some guys here will gladly sit in jail with me and say, 'boy the cops sure can run'. hey Nick, Steve, Elliot and cherokeeprinces and a few more as they come along. Take that risk and be her friend and see what happens. You may gain a friend for life and if not, then you grew inside of you.

Hope that helps.

Wow, that a very cool reply and I am honoured to be your friend.

Nick

[Power of three]

Thanks for those kind and generous words standingtall. Rest assured that there will be no blackmailing from me!

Does make me a bit worried though, Nick and Elliot.

Do you think he's still after people to star with him in his film :eek: